Long before we started our careers, we were told to love our work. Remember?
Maybe as early as middle school and probably first by a parent or friendly teacher, we got the inside scoop to “love what you do, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” Cool, we thought!
Our childhood fantasy and adult reality
With that advice, we began training ourselves for our future work lives. We started by fantasizing how we’d spend our workdays doing the stuff we loved or wanted to love doing all day . . . being with friends . . . playing sports or video games . . . living the glamorous life of a celebrity . . . whatever . . . as long as it didn’t include homework and tests. And BONUS! Someone was going to pay us for it all. Our futures looked bright indeed.
As we moved through our teenage years and started college or our first jobs, that message to love what we do was reinforced as we heard and reheard it--often on podcasts--and read and reread it--often on breakroom motivational posters. We also talked about it with our friends, although many increasingly confessed, “I’m not lovin’ this job.” Yep, for most if not every one of us, our youthful dreams of “love what you do” crashed and burned into harsh and immovable barriers.
Did our respective crashes or barriers mean the advice was wrong or that we’re each somehow a victim of circumstances? Not at all. Don’t even go there. Instead, now that we have some years of workplace experience, let’s take a mature look at what it means to apply “love” to “work.”
© suwichaw from Getty Images via Canva.com
Love + Work
Let’s start with basic and contextually relevant definitions of the verb “love” and the noun “work” as regards the workplace. Note that this use of the word “love” doesn’t include romance or sex and this use of the word “work” does include dealing with other people. Farlex, the popular online dictionary, provides easy examples of what love and work look like in our context:
To have a great attachment to and affection for
To have passionate desire, longing, and feelings for
To like or desire (to do something) very much
An intense emotion of affection, warmth, fondness, and regard towards a person or thing
Wholehearted liking for or pleasure in something
These examples of love should resonate with our childhood understandings of how we planned to spend our adult days. In addition, these examples of love should resonate with our adult understandings of what’s culturally and legally permitted in the workplace.
Speaking of legally, is there any law against the kind of (non-romantic, non-sexual) love we’re talking about here? No. That question was answered at least ages ago when Saul of Tarsus, the Jewish rabbi turned Christian theologian Paul the Apostle, wrote, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Gal 5:22-23, NASB) More specifically, is there any regulation, rule or law against bringing or applying this kind of (non-romantic, non-sexual) love in the workplace? Simply stated, “No.”
Physical or mental effort or activity directed toward the production or accomplishment of something
Such effort or activity by which one makes a living; employment
The part of a day devoted to an occupation or undertaking
One’s place of employment
A factory, plant, or similar building or complex of buildings where a specific type of business or industry is carried on
Likewise, these examples of work should resonate with our childhood and adult understandings.
Loving what you do means bringing love to your work. That’s self-evident, but read it again because this may be a new and different way of thinking for you. Bringing love to your work means bringing love into “one’s place of employment” such as “a factory, plant, or similar building or complex of buildings ….” In other words, your workplace, whatever it looks like. These are easy dots to connect and equally easy dots to overlook. But once you see the connection, you can’t unsee it. And why would you want to?
At the most basic level, healthy relationships are balanced, reciprocal, and mutual. Healthy relationships are never one-sided. You know that if you’re in a healthy relationship with another person, especially if you’re in a loving relationship, then you look out for the other person and their needs, and you reasonably expect them to do the same for you. This is mutuality at the most basic level. The same is true about a healthy relationship with your work and workplace. If you love your work, then it’s reasonable to expect your workplace to be committed to you.
Let’s take a look at some quotes, many very well known, that illustrate what it means to love your work and for your work to love you. I found most of these quotes collected on the blog of Sandjest, a personalize gift company located in Wyoming:
What it look like to love your work
“When you love what you do, it doesn’t feel like work.”
“Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress; working hard for something we love is called passion.”
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”
“Inspired work is the result of loving what you do."
“I love my work because I get to learn and grow constantly.”
“I love my work because it challenges me to be my best self.”
“I love my work because it allows me to inspire others.”
“I love my work because I am empowered to innovate and create.”
“I love my work because it fuels my enthusiasm and ambition.”
“I love my work because it helps me achieve my dreams.”
“I love my work because it brings out the best in me.”
“I love my work because I get to collaborate with talented individuals.”
“I love my work because it provides endless learning opportunities.”
“Success is not just about wealth, but also about loving what you do and the people you do it with.”
In sum, when you love your work, you’re able to be your best for yourself and your workplace.
What it look like when your workplace loves you
“Caring co-workers make even the hardest workdays brighter.”
“The workplace becomes a pleasure when shared with friends.”
“Nice coworkers are the reason I look forward to my workdays.”
“The workplace is only as good as the people you share it with.”
“Success is sweeter when celebrated with colleagues who truly care.”
“Work doesn't feel like work when you're supported by friends.”
“Good coworkers bring laughter, support, and joy to my life.”
“True friendships can be found in the workplace, where dreams and goals are shared.”
“Great coworkers make the workplace feel like a second home.”
“Teamwork is the secret that makes common people achieve uncommon results.”
“Teamwork makes the dream work.”
“Positive workplaces are built by supportive colleagues.”
“Encouraging coworkers create a thriving work environment.”
“Great teams are built on trust, respect, and mutual support.”
“Pleasure in the workplace puts perfection in the work.”
“A good workplace is a place where I grow, learn, and have fun.”
“A caring workplace can make life fulfilling and joyful.”
“When the workplace is a pleasure, life is a joy!”
In sum, when your workplace loves you, you’re able to be your best for yourself and your work.
What if you just don’t love your work?
Let’s continue to face reality head on. What if you simply don’t love your work? No embarrassment in that, it’s often part of the learning experience and human journey. I’ve been there myself. Now you’ve got some thinking to do and choices to make.
If you’re doing work that you don’t enjoy, it’s probable that, for whatever reasons, you’re limited in your options and you’ve taken the best or only work available for you to earn income. Okay. It sucks. Again, I know, I’ve been there. You’ve got to simply accept and plow through until you can make a transition to work you love. Just move with all speed and don’t delay.
Meanwhile, your prayer, mantra, mediation, or focus, whatever you want to call it, is the word “resilience” – in the sense of being both flexible and durable like steel, not fixed and brittle like concrete – while you learn to love your work or develop the courage to leave it once you have a better option. Here are some quotes from Inc. Magazine and Indeed.com about learning to love your work and transitioning from work you just can’t love:
© suwichaw from Getty Images via Canva.com
Learning to love your work
“Leave your ego at the door every morning, and just do some truly great work. Few things will make you feel better than a job brilliantly done.”
“The secret of joy in work is contained in one word—excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.”
“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work in hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”
“When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it.”
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.”
“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off of you.”
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”
“I think the foremost quality--there's no success without it--is really loving what you do. If you love it, you do it well, and there's no success if you don't do well what you're working at.”
“There is no passion to be found in playing small--in settling for a life that is less than you are capable of living.”
“The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.”
“Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can't buy more hours. Scientists can't invent new minutes. And you can't save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow.”
“Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”
“Whenever things go a bit sour in a job I'm doing, I always tell myself, ‘”You can do better than this.’”
“There is a lot of stuff we can't control, but it is completely in our power to decide what the definition of a good job is. That's up to us.”
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
What if your workplace just doesn’t love you?
Above I wrote, “At the most basic level, healthy relationships are balanced, reciprocal and mutual. … This is mutuality at the most basic level. … If you love your work, then it’s reasonable to expect your workplace to be committed to you.”
But what do you do when that just isn’t the case? What do you do when you’ve given your work and workplace your best effort and love, and your workplace just isn’t capable of loving back? You know what you must do, as uncomfortable as it is. Like any relationship that isn’t working and can’t be fixed, you mourn, you break it off, and you move on. The critical trick with employment, of course, is to break and move according to your plans, not other people’s plans. Here are some quotes to help frame your thinking and plans when your workplace doesn’t love you back:
Learning to leave your workplace
“If you’ve truly given your all and the situation hasn’t improved, it’s time to move on.”
“Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.”
“When you feel that you have reached the end and that you cannot go one step further, when life seems to be drained of all purpose: What a wonderful opportunity to start all over again, to turn over a new page.”
“Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.”
“Do not wait until the conditions are perfect to begin. Beginning makes the conditions perfect.”
“Success doesn't come to you, you go to it.”
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
“Don't be defined by your past, your past is the tutor of your present and is always preparing you for new experience. Forget about disappointment or any past mistakes that is keeping you from moving forward. It's never too late for a new beginning.”
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
The take-away
Healthy relationships are never one-sided. They are mutual. The same is true about a healthy relationship with your work and workplace. If you love and are committed to your work, then it’s reasonable to expect your workplace to love and be committed to you. The goal is for our relationship with our work and workplace to be one of mutuality. If you love your work but your workplace doesn’t love you in return, then it’s time to move on and into a better relationship. Never believe the lie that business isn’t personal.
At BetterCapitalism.org, we understand that business is personal, that mutuality is necessarily a core ethic of a good workplace, and that a good workplace is fundamental to our collective move toward a better capitalism. Adam Smith, who we typically call the Father of Capitalism, wrote about mutuality, and Martin Luther King, Jr., who we typically call a Prophet, spoke of us all "caught in an inescapable network of mutuality." We trust you too now see the need for a mutuality that allows you love your work and your workplace to love you back.
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